Stupid tooth! Bakit ngayon pa na walang dentist????!!!

- Ham&cheese inorder ko sayo kasi lam ko ayaw mo ng egg.

- Orange juice yung drink mo ha, kasi lam ko yan lagi inoorder mo sa KFC e.

(@ Greenhills Promenade)
Promenade ka ba?
Yup.
(Then he appears behind me after a while)
How'd you know I was here?
E books kasi, lam ko dito ka pupunta.

AND!!! He gave me Gregory Maguire's Son of a Witch and A Lion Among Men. I love it!!! Haha. The books are hard to find so I really appreciate the effort. I was supposed to go back to Greenhills' Fully Booked since that's where I saw the books.

Lam mo ba ung isa?
Yup, ung Lion Among Men? Yun yung kasunod ng Son of a Witch.
I know. I did my research.

I love how he remembers these little things. :)

The Weakness In Me
(Joan Armatrading)

I'm not the sort of person who falls in and quickly out of love
But to you I gave my affection right from the start
I have a lover who loves me, how could I break such a heart
Yet still you get my attention

Why do you come here when you know I've got troubles enough
Why do you call me when you know I can't answer the phone
Make me lie and I don't want to
And make someone else some kind of unknowing fool
You make me stay when I should not
Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me
Why do you come here and pretend to be just passing by
But I mean to see you
And I mean to hold you, tightly

Feeling guilty, worried, waking from tormented sleep
This old love has me bound but the new love cuts deep
If I choose now, I'll lose out, one of you has to fall
And I need you, and you

Why do you come here when you know I've got troubles enough
Why do you call me when you know I can't answer the phone
Make me lie and I don't want to
And make someone else some kind of unknowing fool
You make me stay when I should not
Are you so strong or is all the weakness in me
Why do you come here and pretend to be just passing by
But I mean to see you
And I mean to hold you, tightly

i feel nothing
when you hold my hand.
i stop breathing,
i stop feeling--
anything else.
(10.28.08)


#####
this is the best i can do right now. it's been a while since i wrote something, so be nice!!! haha. CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms allowed. ^^

princerob! I know it's another 6hrs for you, but what the heck, it's the 27th here. Haha. I miss you so much! I wish you were here... Ohwell, I'll see you when I see you. Hope you're having a blast :)

1. When there's this little voice inside you that tells you something isn't right.

2. When you see the disaspproving looks of your real friends, even if they keep quiet about it.

3. When it's a negative externality to society.

4. When you know you're hurting someone.

5. When you try to justify your actions to your conscience and to your closest friends.

6. When you know that if your mom/dad/grandfather/sister knew about this, they'll be sad.

7. When you're hurting yourself.

8. When you become the unhappy person that you hate.






#####
I needed this.

I don't even understand myself anymore. All I know is, I don't need any more problems right now. I've got enough to last me a lifetime. Haha. Just kidding. I don't wanna hurt you, but I wanna be alone. Maybe it's temporary. Or maybe not. I'd have to figure that out first. I don't even know how I feel as of the moment. It's a cliche, but it's true--it's not you, it's ALL me.

quoted from the Twilight Saga:

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. When each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."

"I've walked among my kind-and yours, for a hundred years now, searching, but not knowing what I was searching for, and not finding it, because you weren't alive yet."

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very Dark, but there were stars--points of light and reason...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

"What if you sincely believed something was true but you were dead wrong, what if you were so stubbornly sure you were right that you wouldn't even consider the truth. Would the truth be silenced or will it try to break through?"

Single for four days now. (Wow, antagal.)

Of course, I miss him sometimes, but as I've said, it's better this way. We're better off this way. We're kind of a destructive couple. I'm not closing my doors on him, maybe someday, we'll still end up together. Who knows? Right, Che? Hehe. But right now, I just wanna be alone. And single. No cool-offs, no nothing.

And no, walang third party. I know I have crushes and all that, but it's not like I do something about it. Minsan nakakadala, like I always wanna see him and talk to him, pero hanggang dun lang. Takot pa rin ako sa karma. If someone makes me smile, hanggang dun nalang muna yun. I can't handle another relationship right now.

I guess all I'm saying is that, I'm okay. No need to worry. Aside from the occasional headaches and pressure from work, I'm all good. ^_^

Ayoko na.

Wala na tlga, hindi na naten maaayos to. Nahihirapan na ako sayo. Sabi mo magbabago ka? Asan? Wala naman akong nakikitang pagbabago. Ano ba nangyari sayo? Hindi ka naman ganyan dati. Naalala ko pa nga parang ako pa yung nanghihingi ng time sayo. Pero bakit parang naging insecure, overpossessive at controlling ka? Hindi na ko makakilos pag anjan ka. Kung malulungkot man ako na wala ka, mas hindi ako magiging masaya na kasama ka. Masyado na tayong nagkakasakitan. Ung nangyari kanina, un na ung final straw. Hinihika na nga ako, pagdadabugan mo pa. Ikaw lang naman iniisip ko, dahil ayoko na may masabi sila sayo, alam mo naman sa office diba. Pero hindi ka nakikinig, basta gusto mo, gusto mo. Kaya nga tinawag na relationship dba? Feeling ko naman kasi hindi mo kelangan ng girlfriend. Sabi mo nga dba, life goes on. Hindi ka naman talaga mamamatay pag wala na ako.

Hindi to temporary. Ayoko na talaga.

why can't you just understand?
i'm tired. i'm stressed.
i'm overworked and tired of all of this.
nobody wants an overpossessive boyfriend!

Closing Cycles
Paulo Coelho


One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.





I couldn't have said it any better. Paulo Coelho always has beautiful words. How I wish i could go back to writing stuff. Parang nabobo na kasi ako, hehe. I keep trying actually, but I can't seem to find any inspiration. I guess I'll have to try harder.

i love you.
isn't that enough?
what more do you want?.....

BEING TWENTY-SOMETHING


They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Admit it! You're in this stage of your life too!

i miss UP soooooo much!!!
take me back pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.....